Don’t get me wrong – Marley & Me was a wonderful and heartwarming story, beautifully done. But it has a very sad ending (Marley has to be put to sleep – sorry to ruin it, but if you’re considering taking your kids, you need to know that) that can be traumatic for certain children.
I have two girls – “Punkin” age 7, and “Mousie” age 5. They have been clamoring to see Marley & Me since we saw the trailers many months ago. We eagerly checked out the book on cd from the library, and the girls LOVED listening to it in the car. BUT, I saw how the book was going to end so I prescreened that part by myself. I cried and sobbed through the ending, and knew it wasn’t appropriate for my daughters. So I refused to let them listen to it, and just summarized the ending for them. In the book, the sadness was relieved by the Grogan’s getting a new, just as mischievous, puppy. In the movie, there’s no such relief.
Why I didn’t leave the theater with the girls before the sad, sad ending, I’ll never know. I should have, but for some reason, that thought never occurred to me. I think I figured they already knew the ending, so it wouldn’t be so bad. Oh boy, was I wrong!!! Really, really bad parenting decision (or non decision) on my part. I had tears streaming down my face and was choking back sobs as I watched Marley’s family say their final goodbyes, and then the vet inject the drugs into Marley’s i.v. that would end his life. My daughters didn’t start crying until the movie ended. We sat as the credits rolled, Mousie in my arms, and Punkin in my husband’s arms, as the girls cried and cried and cried. They briefly stopped the tears in the car as they got involved in their new Nintendo ds’s, but started up again as soon as they entered the house. My husband and I once again each took a child as they sobbed some more. It lasted almost an hour, despite our best efforts to distract them. Snuggling and playing with our two black labs finally calmed the girls down.
Now, I should say that our family has more reason than most to respond so emotionally to this movie. First of all, we are all dog lovers, and Punkin especially is very sensitive and caring toward animals. Not quite 3 years ago, we too had to put our very beloved golden retriever, Rufus, to sleep. It was extremely difficult for all of us, particularly Punkin. In fact, Punkin was so upset and inconsolable, I invited her to help me look online at www.petfinder.org (this is a truly great resource for anyone looking for a dog to adopt – you can search for animals in shelters throughout the area by type of animal, breed, age, gender, etc.) for a new dog. Little did I know we would find a litter of golden retriever / black lab mix puppies being adopted that very afternoon, but that’s another story. Mousie wasn’t even 3 yet, but she still remembers Rufus. Both girls still cry occasionally for Rufus, and regularly include him in their nightly prayers as well as pictures and stories they create. About a year after Rufus died, my mother passed away, and she was very close to my girls and they loved her deeply. So emotions are still raw from two difficult family deaths.
I really don’t recommend this movie for children who have lost a beloved pet, or anyone they were close to. It will bring those emotions back to the surface. The beginning of the movie is actually very comical, and my girls enjoyed it immensely, laughing heartily at Marley’s antics. If you do take the kids to see the movie, you could always leave before the end (the second time Marley goes to the vet).
Another objection I have to the movie is the sex references. My daughters don’t know what the word means, and it’s mentioned several times in the movie. There’s no graphic sex or nudity, but it’s implied, and my daughter at one point asked what the parents were doing (they were kissing and rolling around in bed, fully clothed, but on their way to making their first child). I should have paid attention to the PG rating on the movie. I think my parenting hat was just missing tonight, because I didn’t even look to see what the movie was rated. I just assumed that this was a nice, family film and I had nothing to worry about. My bad. Anyway, I just don’t want anyone else to make the same mistakes I made.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Disney World by Dream Weaver
Yes, it's been a while since I've posted. I think the holidays
keep us busy. We kicked off the season with a Thanksgiving
trip to Disney with the kids. The first time we went, my girls
were 6 and 3, and we spent the entire 2 day trip at Magic
Kingdom waiting in line to meet princesses or chasing after them in the park.
On our second trip, my 3 year old son, who
was going to Disney for the first time, was most looking forward to
meeting Mickey Mouse. After a few hours in the Magic Kingdom,
he couldn't wait any longer
and wanted to go to his house and meet him in his tent. The
whole family walked over together, and we passed one of the
tents where some princesses and fairies were. I turned to my
daughters and asked if they wanted to see the princesses.
They looked at me like I was crazy. "We want to go on the
rollercoasters!", they cried. Space Mountain, Big Thunder Railroad,
the Haunted House, etc. I was shocked that even my 6 year old was beyond the
princess obsession. And I was instantly so very grateful that we had
made that decision 3 years ago to spend a couple days at the
Magic Kingdom. I will never forget my two girls in their dresses
chasing after princesses and other characters to get an autograph and take a picture.
At the time, I didn't realize that the princess obsession is so short lived.
I also didn't realize how quickly time passes. The shock of my daughters'
response on this trip was a harsh but good reminder to enjoy these exciting moments
because they only happen once.
Happy holidays!
keep us busy. We kicked off the season with a Thanksgiving
trip to Disney with the kids. The first time we went, my girls
were 6 and 3, and we spent the entire 2 day trip at Magic
Kingdom waiting in line to meet princesses or chasing after them in the park.
On our second trip, my 3 year old son, who
was going to Disney for the first time, was most looking forward to
meeting Mickey Mouse. After a few hours in the Magic Kingdom,
he couldn't wait any longer
and wanted to go to his house and meet him in his tent. The
whole family walked over together, and we passed one of the
tents where some princesses and fairies were. I turned to my
daughters and asked if they wanted to see the princesses.
They looked at me like I was crazy. "We want to go on the
rollercoasters!", they cried. Space Mountain, Big Thunder Railroad,
the Haunted House, etc. I was shocked that even my 6 year old was beyond the
princess obsession. And I was instantly so very grateful that we had
made that decision 3 years ago to spend a couple days at the
Magic Kingdom. I will never forget my two girls in their dresses
chasing after princesses and other characters to get an autograph and take a picture.
At the time, I didn't realize that the princess obsession is so short lived.
I also didn't realize how quickly time passes. The shock of my daughters'
response on this trip was a harsh but good reminder to enjoy these exciting moments
because they only happen once.
Happy holidays!
Monday, November 24, 2008
Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving is a favorite holiday for many people for many different reasons. For me, it is the annual ritual of decorating that house with homemade turkeys that my children have brought home over the years. It seems that every school does the same craft with the kids: dip the hand in paint and press on a sheet of construction paper. Add eyes, nose, and feathers, and you have a turkey worth saving. Of course, the first time my oldest brought one home, I thought it was so precious. I had it laminated. More kids and more turkeys started coming home every fall. I kept them all in a box in my attic, and a few years ago, I started opening the box with my kids every November and letting them hang their turkey handprint artwork around the house. This has become our family Thanksgiving ritual that I just love.
Most of them are labeled with my kids’ names and the date. Some are not labeled, and I remember thinking when each one was brought home, how could I forget whose hand this is? Well, I have. I have learned to always label their artwork, no matter how seemingly unique. Even if I think it’s not a keeper.
In addition to the turkey artwork, I have an essay that one of my daughters wrote in kindergarten when she was 5. She wrote that the first Thanksgiving took place 100 years ago and her grandparents were there to celebrate. My barely 70 year old mother and I found this hilarious, and this treasure is kept with all our other Thanksgiving artwork. When I pulled it out this year and showed my daughter, who is now 9 years old, she laughed out loud.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
High School Musical Theme Party
When we saw the commercial for High School Musical III this summer with the release date of October 24th, my 9 year old daughter and I simultaneously looked at each other wide-eyed. We slowly smiled at each other, and without saying a word, we knew how we would celebrate her October birthday.
I checked into some local theaters to see what types of party packages they offered. I chose one with a party room that we would have before the movie. With over an hour in the party room before the show, I knew that the girls would need something to occupy their time. I searched the web for party ideas and party favors, keeping in mind the personalities of this group of tweens. I decided to play some games and provide a small gift for the winners. Since I knew weeks in advance how I would structure the party, I used every shopping trip, whether it was for groceries or clothes or household items, to check out the clearance bin for things young girls might like. At some clothing stores, I picked out a couple necklaces and hair bands for less than $1 each. I found HSM notebooks and binders on sale and picked up a few. I found mini journals on the clearance rack and there were enough left to give one to each girl. That would be a perfect party favor – a journal to write about the experience. My daughter and her friends love to write, and I know from their parents that they all keep journals. I was really excited to send each girl home with something meaningful.
I decided on three games centering around High School Musical characters and music, including a Guess the HSM Character, HSM Bingo, freeze dance, and musical chairs. “Guess the Character” is a fun ice-breaker (not that these girls needed it) in which a character’s name is posted on the back of a girl and she has to guess who it is by asking “yes” or “no” questions. For example, if a girl has the character “Gabriella” on her back, she can ask other guests if her character is a boy. Then she can ask if her character is blond. She would get “no” responses for both, and be able to narrow down her line of questioning until she guesses Gabriella. The nice thing about this game is that the girls can ask anyone a question, so they can move around and interact with all the party guests.
For Bingo, I created Bingo cards with the names of all the HSM characters and other trivia (Wildcats, East High, Fabulus, etc.). It was a little labor intensive to make 10 unique cards, so I actually typed 10 names in various squares including a free space and printed off the card. I made 10 copies on different colored paper and then filled in the remaining 15 names in random order. I put all the names on little scraps of paper and put them in a hat. I gave each girl the opportunity to pick a name from the hat and call it out. The girls loved the prizes. They walked around the prize table before the game and saw all the neat things.
We also played Freeze Dance, but not for prizes. The game is so subjective that it seems difficult to pick a winner. Freeze Dance is a game where all the girls dance while the music is playing. We played the soundtrack from High School Musical. When I stop the music, everyone must freeze. The girls get crazier as the game goes on, contorting their body into strange shapes, and when the music stops, they have to hold that position – even if it involves both hands overhead with one leg in the air. Because they have a tendency to call each other out for the tiniest movement, “You wiggled your nose!”, we play for fun and not for prizes.
The last game we had planned was musical chairs. You think tweens are too old for musical chairs? Think again. With the HSM soundtrack, and super competitive girls, the game becomes an extreme sport. Of course, the last girl with a seat wins.
The party was a great success. Keep ‘em moving. Keep ‘em entertained.
For other great places to have a birthday party check out kidwinks.com the site to know with kids in tow.
I checked into some local theaters to see what types of party packages they offered. I chose one with a party room that we would have before the movie. With over an hour in the party room before the show, I knew that the girls would need something to occupy their time. I searched the web for party ideas and party favors, keeping in mind the personalities of this group of tweens. I decided to play some games and provide a small gift for the winners. Since I knew weeks in advance how I would structure the party, I used every shopping trip, whether it was for groceries or clothes or household items, to check out the clearance bin for things young girls might like. At some clothing stores, I picked out a couple necklaces and hair bands for less than $1 each. I found HSM notebooks and binders on sale and picked up a few. I found mini journals on the clearance rack and there were enough left to give one to each girl. That would be a perfect party favor – a journal to write about the experience. My daughter and her friends love to write, and I know from their parents that they all keep journals. I was really excited to send each girl home with something meaningful.
I decided on three games centering around High School Musical characters and music, including a Guess the HSM Character, HSM Bingo, freeze dance, and musical chairs. “Guess the Character” is a fun ice-breaker (not that these girls needed it) in which a character’s name is posted on the back of a girl and she has to guess who it is by asking “yes” or “no” questions. For example, if a girl has the character “Gabriella” on her back, she can ask other guests if her character is a boy. Then she can ask if her character is blond. She would get “no” responses for both, and be able to narrow down her line of questioning until she guesses Gabriella. The nice thing about this game is that the girls can ask anyone a question, so they can move around and interact with all the party guests.
For Bingo, I created Bingo cards with the names of all the HSM characters and other trivia (Wildcats, East High, Fabulus, etc.). It was a little labor intensive to make 10 unique cards, so I actually typed 10 names in various squares including a free space and printed off the card. I made 10 copies on different colored paper and then filled in the remaining 15 names in random order. I put all the names on little scraps of paper and put them in a hat. I gave each girl the opportunity to pick a name from the hat and call it out. The girls loved the prizes. They walked around the prize table before the game and saw all the neat things.
We also played Freeze Dance, but not for prizes. The game is so subjective that it seems difficult to pick a winner. Freeze Dance is a game where all the girls dance while the music is playing. We played the soundtrack from High School Musical. When I stop the music, everyone must freeze. The girls get crazier as the game goes on, contorting their body into strange shapes, and when the music stops, they have to hold that position – even if it involves both hands overhead with one leg in the air. Because they have a tendency to call each other out for the tiniest movement, “You wiggled your nose!”, we play for fun and not for prizes.
The last game we had planned was musical chairs. You think tweens are too old for musical chairs? Think again. With the HSM soundtrack, and super competitive girls, the game becomes an extreme sport. Of course, the last girl with a seat wins.
The party was a great success. Keep ‘em moving. Keep ‘em entertained.
For other great places to have a birthday party check out kidwinks.com the site to know with kids in tow.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Who can forget the birth of their first child?
Even though it was almost 9 years ago for me, I still remember the overwhelming feeling of cluelessness. It wasn't that I was ill-prepared - I had read every baby book recommended to me prior to her birth, and I could easily summarize the main idea of Sears, Ferber, Weissbluth, and the What to Expect series. What I found missing the first few months was practical information, like how to get around the city of Chicago with a stroller or what neighborhood restaurants are family friendly.
I remember the first time I tried to take my baby daughter in her stroller to a Wiggleworms class. I walked to the Addison el station, took the elevator up, boarded the train, switched trains, and then exited at Armitage only to discover that not all el stations were wheelchair (or stroller!) accessible. I thought I was so public transportation and city savvy, but I suddenly realized that this new baby would change my routine in even more ways than I anticipated. It didn't even occur to me that my navigation skills would have to be rethought with a stroller. And unfortunately, I have learned that many destinations, even those billed as "family friendly" are not easy to explore with a stroller. All the fun activities I had planned with my daughter suddenly became tedious because of unforeseen obstacles. Our outings were hit or miss as to whether I enjoyed the experience or ended up incredibly frustrated.
Like many first time moms, I sought out a group of likewise new moms and we began to share our experiences, such as which of our favorite restaurants are baby-tolerant, which have changing tables, and which ones have more than one high chair for patrons with babies. The older our babies got, the more our needs changed, and the more quickly our e-mail network grew to warn friends of bad experiences and share great ones. The problem was that our frustrations outweighed our joys, and we lamented the fact that there was no central resource for practical information PRIOR to an outing. Surely other moms with older children had already figured out how to navigate the town with a baby or two in tow. Why did every new parent, every new moms group, need to recreate the wheel, so to speak? I know the internet is full of websites that advertise fun activities for kids. But before I pack up the diaper bag and head out for the day to an activity that sounds amazing, I want to know the reality behind the advertising. Do I know anyone who's been there? What is their opinion? How would they rate the activity, location, price, changing tables, etc.? Can I get some feedback on the best way to get there (drive or public transportation), what I should bring (is the food child friendly, healthy, is it cold/hot inside, etc.) and any tips to make the first trip a success. How many times have I left somewhere thinking, "next time, I will...." Why should the first visit somewhere be a learning experience?
It was this group of questions that led to the kidwinks.com information sharing website. Before
I set out on a great adventure, I check to see if someone has been there and done that, and shared the information with this group.
I plan to share a lot of my experiences and opinions. I welcome your feedback, too.
Dream Weaver, mother of 3.
I remember the first time I tried to take my baby daughter in her stroller to a Wiggleworms class. I walked to the Addison el station, took the elevator up, boarded the train, switched trains, and then exited at Armitage only to discover that not all el stations were wheelchair (or stroller!) accessible. I thought I was so public transportation and city savvy, but I suddenly realized that this new baby would change my routine in even more ways than I anticipated. It didn't even occur to me that my navigation skills would have to be rethought with a stroller. And unfortunately, I have learned that many destinations, even those billed as "family friendly" are not easy to explore with a stroller. All the fun activities I had planned with my daughter suddenly became tedious because of unforeseen obstacles. Our outings were hit or miss as to whether I enjoyed the experience or ended up incredibly frustrated.
Like many first time moms, I sought out a group of likewise new moms and we began to share our experiences, such as which of our favorite restaurants are baby-tolerant, which have changing tables, and which ones have more than one high chair for patrons with babies. The older our babies got, the more our needs changed, and the more quickly our e-mail network grew to warn friends of bad experiences and share great ones. The problem was that our frustrations outweighed our joys, and we lamented the fact that there was no central resource for practical information PRIOR to an outing. Surely other moms with older children had already figured out how to navigate the town with a baby or two in tow. Why did every new parent, every new moms group, need to recreate the wheel, so to speak? I know the internet is full of websites that advertise fun activities for kids. But before I pack up the diaper bag and head out for the day to an activity that sounds amazing, I want to know the reality behind the advertising. Do I know anyone who's been there? What is their opinion? How would they rate the activity, location, price, changing tables, etc.? Can I get some feedback on the best way to get there (drive or public transportation), what I should bring (is the food child friendly, healthy, is it cold/hot inside, etc.) and any tips to make the first trip a success. How many times have I left somewhere thinking, "next time, I will...." Why should the first visit somewhere be a learning experience?
It was this group of questions that led to the kidwinks.com information sharing website. Before
I set out on a great adventure, I check to see if someone has been there and done that, and shared the information with this group.
I plan to share a lot of my experiences and opinions. I welcome your feedback, too.
Dream Weaver, mother of 3.
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