Saturday, December 27, 2008

Marley & Me – Don’t Take the Kids! by Jean L.

Don’t get me wrong – Marley & Me was a wonderful and heartwarming story, beautifully done. But it has a very sad ending (Marley has to be put to sleep – sorry to ruin it, but if you’re considering taking your kids, you need to know that) that can be traumatic for certain children.
I have two girls – “Punkin” age 7, and “Mousie” age 5. They have been clamoring to see Marley & Me since we saw the trailers many months ago. We eagerly checked out the book on cd from the library, and the girls LOVED listening to it in the car. BUT, I saw how the book was going to end so I prescreened that part by myself. I cried and sobbed through the ending, and knew it wasn’t appropriate for my daughters. So I refused to let them listen to it, and just summarized the ending for them. In the book, the sadness was relieved by the Grogan’s getting a new, just as mischievous, puppy. In the movie, there’s no such relief.

Why I didn’t leave the theater with the girls before the sad, sad ending, I’ll never know. I should have, but for some reason, that thought never occurred to me. I think I figured they already knew the ending, so it wouldn’t be so bad. Oh boy, was I wrong!!! Really, really bad parenting decision (or non decision) on my part. I had tears streaming down my face and was choking back sobs as I watched Marley’s family say their final goodbyes, and then the vet inject the drugs into Marley’s i.v. that would end his life. My daughters didn’t start crying until the movie ended. We sat as the credits rolled, Mousie in my arms, and Punkin in my husband’s arms, as the girls cried and cried and cried. They briefly stopped the tears in the car as they got involved in their new Nintendo ds’s, but started up again as soon as they entered the house. My husband and I once again each took a child as they sobbed some more. It lasted almost an hour, despite our best efforts to distract them. Snuggling and playing with our two black labs finally calmed the girls down.

Now, I should say that our family has more reason than most to respond so emotionally to this movie. First of all, we are all dog lovers, and Punkin especially is very sensitive and caring toward animals. Not quite 3 years ago, we too had to put our very beloved golden retriever, Rufus, to sleep. It was extremely difficult for all of us, particularly Punkin. In fact, Punkin was so upset and inconsolable, I invited her to help me look online at www.petfinder.org (this is a truly great resource for anyone looking for a dog to adopt – you can search for animals in shelters throughout the area by type of animal, breed, age, gender, etc.) for a new dog. Little did I know we would find a litter of golden retriever / black lab mix puppies being adopted that very afternoon, but that’s another story. Mousie wasn’t even 3 yet, but she still remembers Rufus. Both girls still cry occasionally for Rufus, and regularly include him in their nightly prayers as well as pictures and stories they create. About a year after Rufus died, my mother passed away, and she was very close to my girls and they loved her deeply. So emotions are still raw from two difficult family deaths.

I really don’t recommend this movie for children who have lost a beloved pet, or anyone they were close to. It will bring those emotions back to the surface. The beginning of the movie is actually very comical, and my girls enjoyed it immensely, laughing heartily at Marley’s antics. If you do take the kids to see the movie, you could always leave before the end (the second time Marley goes to the vet).

Another objection I have to the movie is the sex references. My daughters don’t know what the word means, and it’s mentioned several times in the movie. There’s no graphic sex or nudity, but it’s implied, and my daughter at one point asked what the parents were doing (they were kissing and rolling around in bed, fully clothed, but on their way to making their first child). I should have paid attention to the PG rating on the movie. I think my parenting hat was just missing tonight, because I didn’t even look to see what the movie was rated. I just assumed that this was a nice, family film and I had nothing to worry about. My bad. Anyway, I just don’t want anyone else to make the same mistakes I made.

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